No judgement – its all about perception
I heard a story – a farmer owned a very good horse, he loved the horse as his son and it reciprocated. Even the king of that kingdom was envious of the horse. He sent his messengers to the farmer stating that farmer can exchange the horse for as much as half of his state. Farmer responded – ‘I will not, does anyone sell his son/daughter?’ People told him that he did a mistake, he responded – no judgement.
In some days, the horse somehow ran away and could not be traced. People come back to the farmer and told him, you did a grave mistake by not giving it to the king, at least you could have got something in return. Now you don’t even have the horse let alone part of the kingdom. He again responded – no judgement.
In few days, neighboring kingdom waged a war on the kingdoms where the farmer lived. It resulted in a very tough situation for the kingdom (of the farmer) and king asked for all the support from his people, confiscating even cattle for supporting his army, stating there is no guarantee of returning of those materials/cattle. People again came to the farmer and told him – ‘Thank god at least your horse is not in that trouble, trust wherever it is, it is fine.’ He again responded – no judgement.
Within few days both the fighting parties announced ceasefire. Some people got their possessions back others didn’t. One fine day morning the horse came back to the farmer with an equally beautiful mare. People came to the farmer praising the horse and saying – “Thank god horse was not here during the war it would have been a problem for you as well as for the horse.” Again he responded in his trademark style – no judgement.
So, situations change and therefore our decisions could be called as right or wrong, good or bad, but in the end the frame of reference causes the concerns. Something good today could be bad tomorrow. So, judgemental thinking may result in issues. My brother told me once – no decision is right or wrong, it is how we perceive and the frame of reference makes us think whether the decision is right or wrong.